December 12, 2007

It was time for me to let go and allow my purpose to clarify.  After almost three years of writing the discipline crumbled.  No I didn’t have writers block.  I just hit a limit and it came time to review what I was doing and remember why I was doing it.  Ultimately I came up with many valid reasons; I also discovered a need for a holiday.  I just needed a break; it came over me suddenly and powerfully.  And Lightmail did not go out!  I could have pushed myself but then it would not have been in integrity with my desire to express with authenticity.  I know it is important for every one of us to honour our feelings, so after wrestling with my inner resistances for a day I chose to give myself a break.  Of course the sudden flooding of emails from our wayward mailer system helped.  I was left thinking we had all probably received enough for a day or so.

So a break I took and a break I shall continue to take. 

You will still receive the daily’s and I may find something inspirational to share in the next couple weeks. 

So as this calendar comes to a close I wish you the best of the season.  Whether you are local or not you can always find me on the Okanagan Centre For Positive Living forum at: .  If you could use someone to talk with I will be available by appointment at 250-549-4399.  And for those who are local check out our many happenings on the Centre website: .

So here’s wishing you all the best in this your season of celebration and may your 2008 truly be great.

One final order of business before I send this out to all of you.  During this next while if you have any writings you have done that you believe would be inspirational to others send it to me for possible publication on this list please submit them for review.


This is a poem submitted by a past member who would now be in her late eighties; a little thought about Christmas that I would like to share.

 CHRISTMASCarolers sing in the crisp cold night.Houses glow brightly with soft candle Light.Ribboned parcels, all sizes lie under the tree,Intriguing and secret they call you and me.Stars sparkle so brilliantly high in the skyTelling the wise men where Jesus will lie.Mary gives birth to her angel-blessed boyAs the world looks in awe with hearts full of joy,Sharing the promise that love will not die.By Pat NesbittSo wishes for a beautiful season,

November 28, 2007

As he described it he went through a complete loss of identity, he had moments where he still knew who he was, but they were moments and they were fickle moments.  Everyone and every thing lost its place of priority in his mind and nothing really mattered any more.  His biggest challenge was not so much where he was mentally as where the world was in relation to him.  Society did not know him, it could not relate to him.


At first he fought his impending collapse but the more he fought against it the bigger and more terrifying it became for him.  The crisis continued to grow until finally he was unable to hold back any more; he collapsed. Until he surrendered into it he could not move through it.  He had to let go, and he had to let go completely.  One can compare his process to the metamorphosis of a caterpillar to a butterfly; his whole mental framework had to dissolve in order for the new mental construct to take form.


He told me that when he pulled himself together, or more accurately, when he came back together, it was like he was a completely new and better person.  He said it wasn’t like the old him was lost.  It was more like the pieces had not been put together in the right order the first time and his break down was really more of a reassembly.


He felt much better, much more complete, after that experience and he learned and shared with me something valuable in the process.  He shared the importance of surrendering to the process, the importance of trusting that even this terrifying loss of identity was really for his greater good.


Have you ever noticed how important this perspective has been in your own life?  I have.  As long as I hang on to my beliefs, opinions, programming, strategies or whatever name I choose to call my limited way of thinking, life seems to be a painful repetition of mishaps.  It is only when I let go to some greater something that I rediscover a level of harmony.  Always when I get hung up on an old way of thinking I get stuck, I create pain and I ultimately have to change my mind.


The only real challenge is that I don’t really know where I’m stuck or what the new idea is.  If I knew I would have already changed.  So I am forced to surrender and turn my problem over. 


Those we call ‘healthy’ people go through this process all the time every day unconsciously.  They just don’t necessarily call it surrender, forgiveness or letting go.  The beauty of unconsciousness is this; that we don’t have to justify or validate our processes.  So we shelve our problems for the night, or while we take on another project, help out another or take care of necessities.  And when we come back we find our solution has just ‘popped’ into our minds.  Because we unconsciously do this on a regular basis there is no serious buildup of pressure.  Therefore the transformations in our lives are not overwhelmingly dramatic.


Occasionally we get stuck in an old belief, some idea we just picked up along the way juxtaposed to our present situation.  We don’t see it but underneath we start feeling pressure a sense of inner tension that just keeps building.  It starts to affect our sleep, our eating patterns, our communication and every other area of our lives.  If the inner conflict remains unresolved long enough it will always show up in our physical experiences; either mental, emotional or physical health.  But still we will not be able to identify the root problem precisely because it is a ‘root’ problem.  It is a foundational concept that we have built our whole lives and values around.  And the only solution is a complete collapse.


This is incredibly wonderful news; granted in a strange and often unpleasant feeling way.  It is wonderful because the discomfort is absolutely necessary for us to recognize we have a core value misalignment.  The healing can not begin until the dis-ease manifests.  The greatest beauty here is in the realization that ultimately the healing is not in fixing the problem, certainly not physically, through external intrusive medicine, although that can have its short term benefits.  The only real answer is surrender; release to a realignment of beliefs and values.  As the great teachings declare; “Be ye transformed through the renewal of your mind.”  


So as soon as we recognize the ‘problem’ even before we see our health practitioners, we can start the healing process.

I choose to be grateful for the revelation of misalignment revealed through this discomfort and I choose to surrender, I let go of my way and open to a new experience.

Then we can carry on with whatever action we trust will help in the ‘healing’ thereby being proactive in our process.


And again, we can not force this to happen. Ultimately all any of us can do is surrender to a higher order.  For this we only need a faith that there is a power greater than we are available to us, and that we can use it by surrendering to it.


As this season of celebration comes in don’t forget to surrender to a higher power as the various discomforts arise.  This season really can be a season of healing; and not just for computers and appliances.


November 21, 2007

My son has become a bit of a world traveler.  I think it’s good.  There is something deeply impacting to the psyche when witnessing the challenges of a third world country, in seeing true poverty.  I suspect depression is not nearly so prevalent in people who have shared life on that fringe of existence and then found their way into the prosperity of our world.  They know and will likely never forget how blessed they are.

It has now been many years since I traveled any distance.  Years ago I thought I might never stop traveling.  I wanted to see the world, see the people and help them.  Since then with the raising of family and new found passions I have discovered myself more than satisfied with all the ways I can help the world from my doorstep.

I have found the biggest differences I have been able to make have been with those who are closest to me.  I have found that learning to change myself, my ways of thinking and behaving, has been the most empowering action I have been able to consistently take.

Still I do my best to make a difference.  I suppose because in my heart I know how unnecessary lack and suffering are.  When I see another in pain I seek to be present in love.  This doesn’t necessarily mean giving anything beyond the affirmation that they are more than enough to overcome their challenges.  It does mean showing up with compassion.

Yet still I recognize there is no possibility of changing another person’s life.  Until that person has embraced a desire for something new there will be no lasting change.  There are a lot of people all over the world resigned to the belief that ‘this is as good as it gets’; and for them their belief has ensured they have the best they can have.   At some point they must declare to themselves there must be something more to life than this experience they seem to be stuck in.  They must come to doubt the validity of their beliefs.

 My faith is that every limiting belief will at some point show its limitations, and in that moment of revelation a new idea can begin the process of transformation.  My desire is to be available in that moment.  I don’t have to travel to witness a world in transformation; I only need to show up where I am, as I am.  I only need to believe in the incredible power of the human spirit to rise above the human experience.  I only need to believe in people, in each individual’s ability to find and do well in their world.  As I do they do. 

I no longer feel the burning desire to find new places or to change the world; I have found much peace in changing myself and touching the people at hand.  In this way I may actually be participating in global change.

November 14, 2007

It is clear that when it comes to the details of a life we are utterly out of control.  Yet often we hear about people thinking a thing right before it happens.  Or we have the experience; we pick up the phone as it rings.  Or we may have an idea which needs a skill and the available person shows up.


And what do we call these events?  Miracles, coincidences, serendipity?  Some people will even claim such fortuitous events are a sign of the devil.  Whatever the reaction is it tends toward superstition.  What else can a person think about these uncontrollable events?  As long as they remain uncontrollable there really is no option, they rest in the realm of the supernatural. 


So we arrive at the only useful question.  Can we somehow control these events? Are they actually natural events in a world we don’t yet understand?  We will never know for sure as a whole until we can demonstrate these coincidences with consistency as individuals.  And we will never know for sure as individuals until we consciously prove the underlying principles to ourselves.


Although there are many reasons why, I have only found three or four major blocks to the process of constructive transformative thinking.  The first and most prevalent block is unconsciousness, the lack of awareness of the creative power of our thoughts.  Day after day all over the world people continue to meander through life completely oblivious to the power they have to direct experience in any direction just by focusing attention and passion.  To the joy of many in recent years this understanding has become far more public with a whole parade of best selling authors bringing these ideas to the fore.  It is much easier to talk about thought power without getting that blank faraway look in our comrades eyes.


The next biggest area of resistance to creative thinking is a lack of mental discipline.  Most people who first enter into this creative philosophy, and many who have been in it for years, seem to think that to think of a thing is enough, “I did what they said, now where’s my mother lode?”  Fortunately this process doesn’t work that way, if it did every thought sent out would cause catastrophic change.  Thankfully thought is a rather rarefied essence and matter is rather dense.  It takes disciplined and focused thinking to demonstrate a specific physical experience.  It takes disciplined thinking just to change a belief or attitude which, for most of us, is enough to make a profound difference in our lives.  Still it does take a creative focus maintained at least ten to fifteen minutes a day for, in some cases, many years to develop concrete proof of this process.  Few people can find that kind of discipline within themselves even though almost all people are capable.

The third chronic area of challenge to creative transformation is intelligence.  We have all met those people who have built up such a fortress of argument and justification that they couldn’t detect it if the light came on in their own head.  Those are the one’s so adept at explaining to us exactly why our dreams can never be realized. We who practice affirmative thinking and dreaming avoid the influence of such people, when they say “can’t” we head the other direction and eliminate them from our inner circle of advisors.  Curiously these people if they ever get turned around are a formidable forward movement.  Once they get away from the need to be right, or fear of being wrong opportunity opens up for them.


Which leads me to the final major area of limitation; fear.  Some people live in fear so glaring they are almost unbearable to be around.  They seem to exude an aura of confusion which infiltrates all but the clearest mental focus.  These people can easily be spotted; the difficult ones to see are those who live their lives in a subtle state of anxiety, a low lying background chatter that appears to constantly destabilize the desire for forward movement.  They do all the work but somehow it just doesn’t seem to bring them the results.  Diligent, pleasant to be around, yet somehow out of alignment, they work, work, work yet still nothing changes.  And deep down they knew this would always turn into an empty bag of some one else’s promises.  They usually get overwhelmed with their process of changing circumstances rather than their counter productive thinking.  They just can’t seem to let go of the evidence of their eyes.  This is absolutely the most difficult hurdle to surpass in a new awakening of our power to create our lives.  Yet this is the example of the masters.  Being able to see beyond the moment into the world of potential with absolute certainty is the hallmark of all the greatest religious leaders and hypothesis of the leading edge of science.  It is the only way.


There are many challenges to the demonstration of transformative thinking; I have only explored the most global four challenges.  If one surpasses these four the others are mere detours and rough patches on a road to a new age.

November 07, 2007

 I was able to accept him as wise yet still human.  I found myself releasing him from my expectations of perfection.  I started to see the value of choices I had not understood and I was able to start appreciating the real gifts he had given me as a child.


More than anyone else in my life I believe my father taught me to value an open and questioning mind.  I learned from him never to take the word of another as ultimate fact.  I learned what a truly scientific mind works like.  It asks questions and even when given an answer it continues to query that answer.  Within every fact imposed by science and society there is a hidden doorway into greater possibilities.  But in order to find that door and open it we must be prepared to leave behind the restrictions imposed by the fact.


I learned by observation and contrast that most people shun the hidden doorways; they marvel at the potential imposed in those anomalies but refuse to get too close.  They like their limited perspectives.


My father introduced me to the paranormal, not as something to be shunned, as the world at large seemed to in those years, but rather as something to be embraced, to be understood, to be looked into for greater understanding.  He never hesitated to bring home controversial information whether it was scientific, social or spiritual.  He was always fascinated by those hidden doorways, and in time he imbued me with that same curiosity.


And always,  the places most important to look at were the places our leaders wanted to deny.  You see one of the things an open mind discovers is the very small number of rules existing with no exceptions.  When I was young this open minded approach was difficult, particularly in light of the fact that I was difficult.  Often my teachers reported that I seemed to follow a different rhythm; I marched to a different drum. 


Again I was able to turn to the example of my father. He was able to walk a different path while fitting in to the rules.  My father also gave me the example of capability.  I don’t ever recall him saying he couldn’t do a thing while I often saw him doing things he had never done before.  When I was still quite young my father got together with several of his colleagues to build a fleet of sailboats that I then grew up racing and playing on through my summers.  This was a couple years after having built the family a camper that our family traveled extensively in.


All of this taught me to be willing to take risks for what I believed in then, and believe in today.  I learned from him to stay the course when challenges came up and I learned from him not to judge people.  Our house was always open to the most diverse of people from Asian exchange students to local fortune tellers; there was always some one who could show us a different way of looking at the world.


My father taught me to appreciate the people like him in my life.  And today I get to say Happy Birthday Dad.


As I say this I recognize just how much of this litany holds value for every person out there.  We all have had people in our lives who were capable of teaching us so much if we would only let them.  Do we recognize them, give them credit, honour them?  We do our best, yet in order to do justice we must be able to see the gifts with the faults.  The faults must be there for us to see our own abilities; for us to develop and follow a vision for ourselves.  If these wonderful people in our lives were perfect we would be unable to see the way to our own perfection.  Because of their imperfections they light our way always to a greater experience.


We often see people from a limiting perspective of the flesh and bones standing before us.  Yet people are so much more.  Every person is a depth and breadth of passion that makes the physical shell truly insignificant.  And often it is that flaw in the shell, ‘that thing’ about them we really dislike which is the doorway to the wonderful relationship they can be in our lives.  Even more often the thing we don’t like in them, when we get down to letting it go, turns out to be our own hurt and intolerance, our own judgments and expectations.  When we let go of our opinions for the sake of love and friendship we are always the greatest beneficiaries. 


So if you are seeing the flaws in someone close to you maybe its time to change your focus.  Maybe just allow those flaws and start noticing more all the things you really appreciate.  I am sure you will ultimately find yourself to be the greatest beneficiary of your broadened perspectives.

October 31, 2007

People like Edith highlight some of the basic flaws in the way humanity around the world thinks.   Her life story illustrates the causes of much pain and suffering in her drive and her excesses. 


Edith Piaff was forced to sing for her living at a very young age and in it discovered her passion.  Like so many famous people she worked intensely at her craft, she put in long hours, day after day and along the way had a few ‘lucky’ breaks. 


My definition of luck is, -where inspiration meets opportunity.  It is the natural occurrence of a thought pattern adhered to with absolute conviction.  Edith had this to the degree that when opportunity came into her life she was ready; she seized it.  She was as clear about what she would not do as she was about what she would do.  She made her life.

Unfortunately she fell into the struggle and reward pattern that is so humanly common.  It is possibly the easiest negative and destructive pattern to get drawn into.  It follows a thought process something like this; “I worked hard this week, I put out a lot and I deserve a reward.”  On the surface that looks like a normal healthy pattern.  It is not!  That thought pattern is likely the leading single cause of disease in our society.  It is a wolf in sheep’s clothes; negativity wrapped in the shrouds of sensibility.


Many will tell us that as long as we use moderation the reward is acceptable, many will argue that after doing hard work, of course we deserve a reward.  That is like saying “after the war we will have earned our peace.” 


We don’t need war to justify peace, peace stands on its own merits.  If a thing truly is good it is not a reward but rather a natural unfolding of right action, it needs no justification.  If a thing is not good then no amount of justification will make it good.


How often do we reward ourselves with some form of poison for suffering through an ‘unpleasant’ situation?  Do you go out for a couple drinks at the end of the week?  Do reward yourself with that cigarette or cup of Java?  How many of us tell ourselves we’ve been good and deserve that cheesecake, donut or other sweet treat reward?  We likely all do it at some time or another.  That doesn’t make it right or healthy.


Just because all of society says wrong action and thinking is all right it remains wrong.  Of course when ‘they all’ do it we do find it very enticing.  In fact almost every day when I walk home from work I pick up a sweet for the walk. 


It’s not the sweet, the coffee, the drink or even the smoke that is the underlying problem.  It’s simply the pattern of thinking.  The suffering – reward syndrome the world has bought into.  That is the cycle we must break, that is the thinking which leads to addiction and many of the most common diseases of our world.  And it all starts with “I have to…”.   You fill in the blank.  What do you think you have to do?  What sorts of things do you tell someone they need to do?  Every time we think in this way we make work out of creativity, we turn our pleasures into pain and often justify some form of poison as a reward. 


What an incredibly warped way of thinking; and it is rampant in the world around us. 


It is no wonder that medical costs in our world continue to escalate from year to year.  Most of us in this ‘free world’ have imposed upon ourselves a perpetual war inside.  We tell ourselves; I have to get up!  I have to go to work!  I have to take the kids to school, make dinner and meet my evening engagement.  We tell ourselves we must get together with family and friends.  We have to buy each other presents for every holiday.  Our culture creates an endless flow of obligations, each one imposing just a little bit of pressure on our psyches.  And then we wonder why on earth we always get run down.  What an effort it is to maintain such a heavy ‘must’ list.


Is there anything we don’t have to do?  Yes!  In truth we don’t ‘have to’ do any of it.  In truth we ‘get to’ do all of it because we live in an incredible world of choices and opportunities.  We get to go to work; we even get to choose the type of work we will go to.  We can change our minds and do something new, only having to deal with natural consequences of learning curve in our new profession.  We get to have children and raise them the way we believe is right and we get to create for them opportunities we may not have enjoyed.  We are all blessed beyond measure; even the least of us has opportunities that most of the world can only dream of.  And best of all we have within ourselves the capacity to make this richness available to all people everywhere.


Every one of us has the opportunity to live in happiness; we don’t have to reward ourselves to a crippling death with poisons, for work we have chosen to fulfill ourselves with.  All we really need to do is remind ourselves that, “This is something I get to do.”  Or we can choose to change. 


It may not be that easy to bring joy into our lives but it really is that simple.

October 24, 2007

Every action has a consequence.  Anger is an action; it is as real as and more powerful than the physical actions it leads to.  The energy of anger must go somewhere and if not constructively channeled will lead to destructive outcomes.  It must be followed by clear and directed action.


When we look into the leading edge of quantum physics we find one of the most enticing theories (the holographic universe) states that thoughts and emotions are a tangible substance just like the chair I am now sitting in, only subtler.  It goes on to say these subtle energies, although invisible contain within them far more energy, more force, than the physical objects we see.


An effective image used to explain this is that of the wind moving clouds; we don’t see the wind yet it has immense power over the clouds.  The subtler substances have vast power over the grosser forms.  There are numerous examples such as this in nature; one happening as I write this is the power of invisible air and heat on the wild fires raging in southern California; others are visible in the force of water on earth. 


The observer effects in quantum physics show that thought has a comparable impact on the material results of quantum particle experiments.  So Bohm and other leading physicists are concluding that our thoughts do actually restructure our environment in accord with the nature of the thoughts.


Recently in Vancouver a man died when tasered by the police.  Dennis, who I was having coffee with, told me there were many people expressing anger with the excessive use of force in that situation by our police.  I suggested the officer at fault would not be punished; had made a decision and acted upon it.  Every day many times a day they are forced to make judgment calls and in a split second act upon those decisions.  They don’t have time to wonder what the neighbours are going to think; they do the best they can with what they have.  I’m sure that officer, although hurt by the outcome of the actions taken, is recognizing that with the information available they would make the same decision.  The only anger and resentment they are feeling is in reaction to the anger being directed at them for taking action.



Like all of us, the undirected anger they hold will be poison to them unless they do something to channel it into positive action.  While they are likely doing that, taking action, I wonder how many of the people who have focused anger at them are finding ways to direct that anger into positive exploits.  I suspect most have simply allowed those negative toxins to flow into their bodies. Many simply sat back down to watch the next horror story on the six o’clock news already having added those feelings to their existing emotional confusion.


I wonder how many of us would continue to indulge in such activity and thinking if we were truly aware of releasing toxicity equivalent to a pack of cigarettes into our bodies with that mishandled negativity.  I suspect there would be considerably more concern.  Maybe we would have more volunteers in our communities, more people learning stress reduction and offering it in classes.  There might be more police support people and at our airports we might start initiating hospitality and service support people.  People might start getting more active politically, advocating the changes they want instead of just fussing about the ‘horrible’ politicians and then carrying on feeling helpless.


The only thing that makes our society work is our participation and to the degree that we actively participate we make ours a better world.  So if you feel anger let it move you to make yours a better world.  After all together in positive action, mental or physical, we really do make a difference.

October 17, 2007

Thankfully this does not happen very often; but lately I have caught myself doing exactly this.  I could come up with many valid reasons why I do it but unless I find the mental cause and change it, the self destructive pattern is likely to continue. 


When I was dealing with this inner turmoil I did what most of us do.  I picked on the ones who I knew love me.  My wife got the brunt of it; fortunately for me my wife really does love me.


It is also fortunate for me that my wife and I communicate well with each other.  Sometimes the only thing that can help when people are hurting is effective communication skills.


So we were able to keep peace while I was warring inside.  It seems that getting in touch with the real feelings is the biggest challenge for me.  And with a little help; some active listening from some good friends, I was able to identify some major inner upsets.  Once again the big anxiety was unidentified concerns over choices made in faith.


This is when I felt the shift inside me happen, a tangible drawing off of tension akin to a drain plug being pulled.  I had seen where I was hanging on and could now surrender.  True growth happens when we surrender our perceived control to a greater power, when we do it consciously and with faith.  It is only faith that truly separates spirituality from the hard sciences and practicality.  So the action that puts us into the unknown must ultimately be an act of faith.  Yet even when we make choices in faith it is possible to begin to question, to doubt those decisions.  It is possible to unconsciously create stress especially when the action taken is intrinsically new.


So when I let go of my outside work and started working full time as a pastor of a small church with no outside backing, I didn’t fully realize how big a step I was taking.  I didn’t hear that little voice of fear inside judging harshly my actions.  Then when faith and inspiration guided me to invite another minister in to my little church and share the leadership I had no idea how much that little me was wanting to hang on to the illusion of control.


There it was, the source of hidden anxiety, the source of an urge to be controlling.  That little part on the inside didn’t really want to let go of control.  As much as I had said the words “I let go”, there was some small ego that continued to hang on.  And I have no doubt, that little part left unchecked could have made some major havoc in my life if I had not seen it and dealt with it.


How often have you found that a little and unintentional word escaped you and seemed to go out and cause far more damage than you would have thought possible?  Have you ever been left wondering where that little comment came from? And how it could possibly cause the damage it did?   If you are anything like me then take a look inside.  That is where you will discover the habits and patterns which hold you back.  That is where you will begin to find what it is that you need to change.


We can all live a life of distractions.  There is enough going on that we never need to acknowledge who we are and what we are doing.  We can drift through life hurting and being hurt by the ones we love, growing to dislike them and leave them.  We can find new best friends and start all over again.  The same scenarios will likely happen again because in changing the people we have forgotten about ourselves.


I strongly believe the only person worth changing in my life is me and until I start consciously moving myself into change my life has little true value.  I may have created challenges for myself but for every challenge I created, here I am. I have successfully moved to a new vantage of self awareness and every victory brought with it a new level of happiness.  Growth is about consciously stretching ourselves beyond our mediocre patterns of normal reactions and actions.  It is never easy because we are breaking old and unproductive habits, but when we do go forward with determination I can assure you our lives will be transformed in every good way.

October 10, 2007


What has proved itself for my microwave oven regularly proves true for the larger world also.  In the domain of corporations and capital ventures companies strive for growth; yet beyond a certain point that growth is of questionable value and can become a serious detriment.  In the transition to the modern era of business we continually see mega corporations crumble as they become more and more unwieldy in an environment of fast and constant change.  Of course many smaller enterprises we never hear of also crumble.  But in the world of ‘small’, crumble is more often a form of transformation.  It is often the metamorphosis akin to the butterfly emerging from the cocoon.  Changes in the world of ‘small’, more often than not, increase the overall strength of the industry; or in nature, the species.  In the world of ‘big’, complete collapse is generally better for the whole. 

In the world of biology a species that becomes too big, that over-grows its environment, will suffer serious depletion through aggressive competition and environmental constraints.  This is natural; it is one of the balances of life, yet it is also natural to produce enough and more to compensate for any conceivable loss.  Every plant and animal produces enough to feed every hungry predator while still leaving plenty to grow forward in a normal cycle of change.  That is the status quo, the law of averages and; contrary to human behavior, we of the human species are not bound to the law of averages.  I say it again; bigger is not always better.


Politics and religion also suffer the plight of oversized stagnation.  Beyond a certain point of growth the only way forward is through aggressive conversion or assimilation.  This invariably leads to splintering; because an oversized organism cannot change as a whole with shifts of environment or consciousness.  Individual groups start breaking away because the larger body is unable to respond to individual needs.  Soon our mega nations and religions start looking like lizards on the Galapagos Islands.  Every island has a slightly different species, all looking similar but not really the same.  There will be commonalities among many but the furthest extremes may not even be identifiable as having ever been related and often the new sub species like the human splinter groups end up fighting for the same territory. 

The only success to big has been a passive growth pattern where the expansion of the philosophy or species proves itself by the example of its success.


No, big is not necessarily better.  Sometimes the most important work we can do is to focus on ourselves; making sure that we are creating a life we can fully enjoy.  Yet that simple practice can be a full time preoccupation when faced with the engines of consumerism.  It’s very easy to forget ourselves when we are caught up in the glitter of new and polished, with the hyped up drive of a professional sales person trained to make us salivate like puppies at dinner time.  Yet if there is one spiritual challenge in this age it is the challenge of really, consciously thinking for ourselves, making decisions based upon information that is congruent with the results we desire. 


In a world of big and bigger, sometimes the biggest thing for us to do is to have an original thought based on our desires for peace, joy, life and love.  The biggest change we can make in the world is to change ourselves without imposing our idea of right on everyone else.  And next time I get a new anything I will seriously consider how I can make do with smaller.

October 03, 2007

It wasn’t until I had been out of high school for a couple years that I started to challenge myself to move through this hated mental block.  I advanced far enough to complete a few resumes and reports, where spelling and grammatical errors weren’t an issue.  I then put my issues to the back of my mind.


The turn around for me finally came when I showed an important person in my life a series of favorite books of mine, “Grooks” by Peit Hien.  My friend took a quick look and said if she had the money and time of the author she could have done just as well.


I had a revelation.  I realized that it would only take a small amount of time given daily to start building a momentum of change.


It still took me years to create the mental momentum to overcome the inertia I had established.   I had to find a need beyond myself that was greater than my fear and worry.  It eventually happened; one of my congregation moved away to a piece of northern Canadian isolation and wanted something to keep her inspired.  I swallowed my fear and started a weekly writing to uplift, inspire and refresh her.  Over time, complicated by  computer problems and many other learning curves, I have come up with something that is appreciated.  I get regular thanks from many people now on a list that easily reaches over a couple hundred people daily.  I am writing regularly for three different publications and there is no doubt that as long as I continue to move through my own inertia this thing that was started by a small commitment of daily time will yet grow into something I am hardly able to imagine.


I have recounted this story of the growth of Lightmail because in this adventure I learned some things I believe are worth sharing.


Most importantly I believe I may have truly learned the evils of worry.  I describe worry as fear hidden in the wrappings of sensibility.  There may be nothing more singularly detrimental to the aspirations of humanity than worry.  It eats at the soul and silently steals away the passion.  It drives a person into the cage of mediocrity and beats him into submission to repetition.  It is a pattern of thought; and only that, which constantly pushes away the very things we most desire.

Worry is still the one pattern that holds me from my greatest desires, and then takes them away when I have gained them.  To the degree that I gave myself over to worry I sold myself short on my dreams.  Worry constantly held me back from all my ‘YES’ decisions. 


Thankfully I learned more; I learned the power of increments; our dreams are built on the little choices we make every day.  They are mortared with our conviction and our visualizing.  It is the tenacity of our intention to stay focused only on the vision which brings it into fruition.  It is our actions that support its unfolding, refusing to allow an opening to those little doubts and worries that seem so insignificant of themselves, which makes the thing happen. 


Ultimately it will be our appreciation and gratitude that will truly makes our greatest dreams grow.  Gratitude and appreciation are like a powerful magnet that draws to us and keeps with us all those people who support our dreams and make them theirs.  It is important to clarify that the gratitude I speak of is not for what these people do; it is for who they are.  Appreciation for actions is fickle, it is ‘Pavlovian’, never lasting beyond the next favour-reward cycle. 


No, the appreciation that builds our dreams and a better world looks into the soul and sees the magnificence awaiting recognition there.  It is the gratitude that comes with faith, knowing that ‘you’ will come through because you too care; that your desire for greatness is the same desire which burns within me.  It is the appreciation in the word ‘Namaste’ (the God in me greets the God in you).


This is what all people crave; it is the gratitude that truly has meaning and buoys our souls.  ‘Positive thinking’ is wonderful and can have a powerful effect in a person’s life but will never amount to much until it connects to the heart of the world and sees that magnificence in every person who shows up.