Added to this interesting activity is the variety within our family. Our family is the product of the twentieth century atomic revolution. The pressures of the nuclear family exploded and we have come together blended. My family is blended and Hannah’s family is blended. We have few common idiosyncrasies and the quirks found endearing to one aggravate another.
Add to all of this that Hannah and I are new to each other, we are celebrating our third Christmas together, and this our first Christmas away from her Alberta homeland; over ten hours drive for some. It was not just a family together for the holidays; it was a testing time, a time of reassurances. “Does he love her?” “Is he good for her?”
Can we trust him to take Care of her?” “After all he’s a little different (putting it mildly), he’s a minister, pastor of a church, with some belief in the presence of divinity in every person.” Why couldn’t our mother just pick someone normal, someone who at least lived in Alberta?”
Yes, it was a time of testing, finding assurances. It was a process all too familiar to the blended families of today. A process who finds it’s urges deep in the antiquities of our subconscious minds, a need to protect our mothers, our fathers and our own innocence.
How much are our activities subconsciously driven? More by far than most of us would care to believe. We will take actions that, though small, will often build into uncontrollable waves of discontent, emotional capsizes and egos dashed upon the rocks of exposure. Oh yes it can be a hard time.
We did well this year; really we always have but this year was exceptional, almost intangible yet at the post Christmas partings we were somehow all a little closer.
Somewhere in the season, in spite of the confusion wrapped around the presents, we found something sacred. We found love, caring and appreciation. Somewhere in the midst of it all we discovered our bond, our commonality; we actually even let go of a few differences.
Yes it is true if we can just let go of those age old fears and anxieties we will discover that love really does want the same thing for all of us. And really we don’t have to give a single gift in order to receive the gift of love in full. All we have to do is surrender our sacred opinions; our need to be right. By doing this we really can discover the greatest gift of all, the only one really worth giving or receiving. We can discover love the only present worth more than all but the ability to enjoy it.